somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
