Whatcha textin bout Willis?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
