Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
