At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My bed smells like the plague
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
