Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
