I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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