If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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