I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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