Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
