I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
