just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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