They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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