I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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