I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
