8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Randomize
