Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
