Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
