Cold hands, warm shart.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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