lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
