i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
