cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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