I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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