too bad you live with your parents still
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
