If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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