No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
