There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
