Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
