PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
