Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
