remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
