How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
