never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
