The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
PANTIES FOUND
The air taste purple.
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