i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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