Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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