K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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