My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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