the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have tasted many bathrooms
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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