well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
