Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
