I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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