worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
