My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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