the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
