I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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