There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
