There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
