Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
