Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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