Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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