ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
